In a World full of Malalas, be your own Chaudhary!

Malala Yousafzai defied the Taliban in Pakistan and demanded that girls be allowed to receive an education. She was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman in 2012, but survived and went on to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. The push of Pakistan towards a western model in education leaves many questioning.  There is a perception that a focus of organizing children and creating a reliable, predictable environment leads to obedient citizens without the ability to use critical thinking.  Compulsory schooling has once been looked upon as a branch of industry and even a tool of governance by a former, award-winning teacher, John Gatto. Furthermore, traditions become abandoned in favor of:

“Limitless resources, and the people yield themselves with perfect docility to our molding hand. The present educational conventions fade from our minds; and, unhampered by tradition, we work our own good will upon a grateful and responsive rural folk. We shall not try to make these people or any of their children into philosophers or men of learning or of science. We are not to raise up among them authors, orators, poets, or men of letters. We shall not search for embryo great artists, painters, musicians. Nor will we cherish even the humbler ambition to raise up from among them lawyers, doctors, preachers, statesmen, of whom we now have ample supply."​ - Rev. Frederick T. Gates, Business Advisor to John D. Rockefeller Sr., 1913 [1]

Luckily for me, I also had the hand of visiting Pakistan and growing up in a Western world with an ability to challenge and question the teachings that I had been taught by way of curriculum or by media.  My Uncle taught me the virtue of being a “Chaudhary,” and how important land ownership was to the fertile lands of Punjab. The prestigious title and/or surname 'Chaudhary' originates from the Middle East in Asia and means the "holder of four" in its literal sense.  It refers to the status and wealth regarding money and land of a certain small percentage of people from countries such as Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan (and others into which its people have migrated to over the years). Vast irrigation water systems, growing crop and raising cattle were all at the front of a life in what have become remote areas and discarded for the pursuit of a city life (for many.) The contrast was stark and apparent.  What I did not then realize was the access to a rural life was empowering.  I do recall in a visit to Pakistan having rice delivered after being harvested, the taste of fresh poultry and of butter that came in daily from the Buffalo that was close enough to the premises, but hidden behind the cement walls.  Breaking free from British India meant being self sufficient enough to rely on one’s own.  This was true independence and the breaking free of a slave cycle.  

After all, the British came to India and Pakistan in pursuit of spices, resources and to learn of In the  agricultural techniques which were practiced from which modern organic techniques are derived; where the fertilizers and pesticides were obtained from plant and animal products. Organic farming was the backbone of the economy at the time.  Marred by modernity, we all are now in favor of time saving mechanisms, more life spent on the cultivation of a “quality life” in favor of less cultivation of an authentic life.  By authentic, I mean less love and effort in clothing items, food grown and cooked and time spent in work and freeing oneself.  Now we are in the trappings of grocery items at stores, clothes that are manufactured and polluting our minds with idle trivialities.  Money and time appear to be in supply but we are not necessarily feeding with our own hands.  Let’s all take a step back and unlearn some of the lessons learned.  Are we truly free and fulfilled? Who’s hands are we serving? To be in touch with your soul, you need to be in touch with nature of better health and content with less. Therein lies the supply that can be filled over and over.  

Ex- Pat Aussie Musings: The Story of Mateship and of having a Fair Go

‘Mateship’ is an endearing value and characteristic of the ‘Australian way' implicit in the nation’s character which embodies in a 'fair go' egalitarianism. The word 'mate' is used to describe friends, colleagues, even just another person with whom you have just begun speaking terms with. It is speculated that the origins of the word come from the German term "gemate" which means to share a meal at the same table.

Both ‘mateship’ and the giving of a ‘fair go’ tap into the secular creed of the country and evoke a spirit that extends to break barriers. Though its ideology is secular, it is in line with the soul construct of what leads to contentment overall.  To give someone a ‘fair go’ is part of the Australian vernacular  that has often been used to demand or protest in favor of fairness - to be fair to someone by giving them a fair go.  It leaves one with not being ousted by hardship or a demand of backing off from unreasonableness. It also gives support to the party that does not have an upperhand in the matter before them.  A basic request for leniency. Every person endures a battle and is subsequently entitled to a ‘fair go’ as a result.

What’s more is that there has been political discourse and consideration of the inclusion of the term "mateship" in the preamble of the Australian constitution. The proposed change never passed the Senate:  

Australians are free to be proud of their country and heritage, free to realise themselves as individuals, and free to pursue their hopes and ideals. We value excellence as well as fairness, independence as dearly as mateship.

The concept is traced back to early colonial times due to the exposure that convicts had found themselves in. Both men and women closely relied on each other for help. The shared experience, mutual respect and unconditional assistance gave rise to this. Though it has been traditionally used by men, it has also been donned by females in favor of the spirit. It carried through World War I and the Australian Goldrush.  The dynamic changed during that period which included the massive influx of migrants from around the world including Asia, Europe and the Americas. Thus, it can serve as a force to cut down prejudice in race or disparity in wealth.

More recently, during the Sydney siege at the Lindt cafe, mateship was extended in one tweet whereby being Muslim and in the face of terror can also be daunting.  A hashtag and a tweetstorm was borne out of goodwill when an Asian Australian woman pledged to walk in solidarity with another woman who removed her hijab following the news of the siege.  The #illridewithyou stood in contrast with the way in which Americans handled any post terror attack. The response was more measured and a fresh approach welcomed by Muslims across the globe and represented progress.

In the exploration of their similarities and differences such things as attitudes toward equality, approaches to leadership, conversational styles, decision making, and risk taking all give rise to the wanting of the  same opportunities in life. This affords with an education and healthcare systems that provide high quality, world class healthcare and education to everyone. It has shaped a workplace where a higher minimum wage can exist. The welfare system means that streets aren’t full of beggars and homeless people. All of the above-listed, in turn, reduces the crime rate. An immigration system that is skills-based requires higher paid labor. This means most ‘Aussies’ clean their own homes and tend their own gardens, keeping them grounded. Viewing people as mates, reduces suspicion and a pro-gun or violent attitude.  

Patriotism and flag worship serves as a distraction to neighborly needs and that is why Australians do not engage in this behavior.  It needs to be seen that quality of a mateship is an act of being a patriot instead. At the end of the day, everybody demands to be treated fairly and equally.  The concept of mateship and fair go have proven to be timeless and have upheld and will continue to do so. Mateship speaks to many Australians in a way that global political discourse has failed others. It has been able to identify itself for over the course of more than 200 years of white-settler history, farmers, soldiers, laborers,bankers, poets, politicians and feminists.  It is time that its significance spoke to the rest of the world.  It shows a capacity to work together and challenges individualism.  In all things equal, then those who are different are also less dangerous. There is no need for fear mongering as a result.  

A Muslim Woman's Day Reflection: We Do Not Require your Savior

March 24, 2017



Dear Western World,


The notion of being smugly superior lies in an ability to claim the, "Saving of our Grace." It must be understood that within Islam lies an ability for women to lead self-determined, and, fulfilling lives.  Though many Muslims and the countries that we reside in have not delivered, we prefer not to feign away from the problem, and, are well able to address the problem ourselves.  Muslim women are well-bodied and able to reclaim their history.  We do not require assistance in looking to our foundations and request that progression and ownership in the addressing of your own problems be made.

Suppression that is cultural or historical has little basis in the Quran and is inconsistent with the teachings of our Prophet Muhammad who was a feminist.  He was radical in his times for his principled reasoning as to the equality of women and men and active steps were taken to improve the status and role of women in Arabia during his own lifetime.  In his (PBUH) Last Sermon delivered we are told, “You have certain rights over women but they have certain rights over you.” Women, he said, are your “partners and helpers.” In one of his sayings, Muhammad says, “The best men are those who are best to their wives. " His very example in the relationships that he held within marriage were also to strong women who took on leadership roles during their lifetimes.

Moreover, women in seventh century Arabia had rights not extended to most women in the West until more recent centuries.   This was referenced by a Professor Jamila Hussain of the University of Technology, Sydney, whom upon tracing women's rights within history, decided to convert to Islam.  Additionally, the cultural norm of burying baby girls alive  due to it being seen as a financial burden on the family was strongly outlawed.   Rights of divorce and inheritance were given and clearly stipulated in the Quran. For those reasons, if a women failed to marry the choice of starvation and prostitution no longer became and option.

Muslim feminism has given the opportunity for several female heads of state, prime ministers, and state secretaries such as Lala Shovkat of Azerbaijan, Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan, Mame Madior Boye of Senegal, Tansu Çiller of Turkey, Kaqusha Jashari of Kosovo, and Megawati Sukarnoputri of Indonesia. In Bangladesh, Khaleda Zia was elected the country's first female prime minister in 1991, and served as prime minister until 2009, when she was replaced by Sheikh Hasina.

Western discourse has consistently argued that the hijab is not a symbol of freedom, but one of oppression.  However, research suggests that contrary to western notions, when Muslim women choose to wear the hijab as a way of showing self-control, power and agency. Often it is worn as a way of promoting their own feminist ideals by challenging men in taking control of the way in which they are viewed as, "sexualized objects." Sometimes it is simply worn as an act of worship for one's own spiritual quest.  It becomes oppression when the choice to wear is not their own.  It can also be said that there is nothing liberating in wearing next to nothing.  Nor is there compulsion within the religion of Islam.

The United Nations High Commission on Refugees (UNHCR) estimates that over three-quarters of the 4 million refugees from Syria are actually women and children. But protecting the most vulnerable is not on the list of priorities for  conservatives within the U.S.A.

By telling us that Muslim women need saving is an indictment of a mindset that has justified all manner of foreign interference, including military invasion, in the name of rescuing women from Islam.  A moral crusade to rescue oppressed Muslim women has justified all manner of intervention from the legal to the military and reduced Muslim women to a stereotyped cultural icon that has been alienated.

Nor, can the defending of the rights of Muslim women abroad as being offered as a rationale for military intervention be reconciled with the increase of hate crimes committed within the U.S.A.  As it currently stands, Muslim women are being assaulted both verbally and physically as well as being held back from positions of power and in progression within this society.  We are told foreign names, in particular, Muslim names are less employable.  Political views that are also held will be used and targeted against us on the very same foreign soil that is somehow projected in the Media as the very same being that is protecting us.  Ironically,  women in some Muslims countries make up a bigger percentage of engineering and medical faculties than women do in the U.S.A. For her part, Malala who was oppressed by the talibanization of Pakistan is now speaking against U.S. policy.

A statistic compiled by the World Health  organization (WHO) reveals 1 in 3 (33%) women are survivors of sexual violence or intimate partner violence.  This figure is actually low when encompassing all forms of sexual violence, including physical sexual harassment and, what many would consider, innocuous assault.  Those things do fall on the sexual assault spectrum, and they are traumatizing to varying degrees depending on the situation and individual. Bottom line, they are unwanted, nonconsensual sexual contact and it is not just Muslim women that need rescuing.  Women of colored minorities are reportedly missing within the U.S.A and incidences are on the rise.  When will the injustice against all women be a focal point and when will all women work for the sake of each other?  A Woman's March was held globally and conservative males in the U.S.A. are determining the rights to be held by women in the workplace environment.  Oppression is oppression and we need to see the end of all injustice and harm. Muhammad Ali Jinnah once said this quote and it still stands today:

“No nation can rise to the height of glory unless your women are side by side with you. We are victims of evil customs. It is a crime against humanity that our women are shut up within the four walls of the houses as prisoners. There is no sanction anywhere for the deplorable condition in which our women have to live.”

Sincerely,

#MuslimWomenAgainstOppression

Modern day marriage within an Islamic context

"Muslims like to talk about one of two things: marriage and Jinns:" Ustadh Ubaydullah Evans.

Whilst that may be the case, and, marriage having such a high bar in that it is half of the completion of our religion; there really isn't much effective dialogue that is constructive in addressing the issue(s) that pertain to same.

Would you prefer your child to have an arranged marriage? Is love marriage even acceptable? How is it preferred that a match be made? Are cross - religion marriages even an option? Should people look local or global? What race, socio-economic, educational level(s) should the partner posses? Are you preaching the same principles that your parent(s) preached? Are they even relevant? Does it matter?

Generally speaking, within the framework of Muslim marriage there are two options: Arranged vs Love.

In an Arranged marriage scenario, if the marriage doesn't work out the person who made such a pairing is to be blamed instead of oneself.

On the other hand, in a love marriage one has only oneself to blame if all else fails and the parents will too especially of such a marriage went against the wishes of the parents.

Within Arranged marriages contexts, parents or guardians will consider the the following factors, upon which, to make a pairing:

1. Economic
2. Education
3. Family background
4. Culture

Whereas, in a love marriage typically one doesn't go out looking or in search of love, it just happens.

Nowadays, however, many amongst Muslims may screen selectively to ensure that their mate has certain factors or qualities similar to their own as with an arranged marriage dynamic. It is almost a fusion of the love/arranged marriage model.

This, in turn, presents with the question: What is halal dating? Is there such a thing? How else are we to learn further of the partner that we are choosing?

Within Islam, it needs to be understood that segregation is very common. Finding someone with whom there is compatibility thus becomes a task that almost seems impossible.

Some choose to abide by the moral codes of Islam, whilst others do not. At this stage it needs to be borne in mind that a love of God much superior and following His ultimate guidance is the sole reason and goal in Muslim belief. Even when it comes to looking at 'dating.'

For reasons thereof, physical connections outside of marriage, 'experimenting' or having a 'fling' don't exist in Islamic ethics. Self - preservation, discipline and protection, do. Remember: a person does not truly love you if they want to take you to a hell fire in the after life.

That is why someone who has good character and deen will choose to persevere with what is the preferred, but still current (and applicable) to the correct way in going about in doing so; that is, courting.

Goals of courting are not based on any physical consummation nor new encounters but are primarily centered around getting married. A nikah to gain God's blessings leads to physical and deeper emotional attachment after this long-term commitment is made.

From the first meeting to getting married mutual compatibility; attraction and spiritual understanding are general factors that are weighed up.

What Happens On A Halal Date?

Though Muslims often find it difficult to come to some sort of conclusion as to the way out religion operates; nonetheless there is some common ground that has been agreed to as to how an Islamic date should go about.

Primarily, it needs to be borne in mind that the finding of the One True God Who creates love and unites people is the main goal of the exercise and in marriage which is half of your deen.

Interactions based on dignity and respect are also part of our teachings.

Often enough, single Muslims are introduced through friends, family, networking, marriage sites, matchmaking individuals and/or social events.

Secondly, we have the boundaries of Islamic law which need to be adhered to. This would mean that meeting in public places, without being isolated and with Islamic behavior and dress codes is what has been ordained. Gatherings should be able to give the single Muslim a 'sense' of the other person. Personal compatibility requires more than one meeting and questions are then presented on both sides. Having similar goals in life would be one objective of both.

It would also be recommended that parties be aware of what being in a relationship entails. Education in relationships should be a highly desirable goal as well as a wanting to work together as a team. Knowledge of personality types and screening for different ones is also very important as this will help one decide whether or not one is able to live in such sorts of relationships or not. People do not change and one has to either be willing to change and work with and to what degree one is able also needs to be factored up from the outset. If one sees that there are certain qualities or issues present from the outset, then it is most likely that these issues do not fade but are magnified once married.

The best way to work on a marriage is before marriage, as getting married is just part of the process. In order to understand one's better half better it would highly be suggested that one engage in pre-marital training or counseling. Whether or not this should be through a masjid based community is something for us all to consider going forward. Workshop sessions on relationships and equipping persons with the right tools is underrated. Overlooking this leads to the demise of the very essence of what our community, hence, the roots of the foundation laying blocks of our future.

Days are gone where one marries to please parents. Marriage is never about pleasing a parent; but rather pleasing the Almighty first. Healthy, loving, thriving, just relationships is what would be most desirable. Muslims should be encouraged to make their own decisions and do engage in an Isthekhara process once screening is done. Love the rest unto thy Lord. Having said that, the community needs to play a greater role in how to sustain and enliven marriage. It is nothing near the portrayal of what Hollywood or Bollywood shows. In fact, reality is probably closer to what Pakistani dramas portray. Reinforcing oppression is not a solution either. Turning a blind eye to the reality of what the marriage market has become will not help. It is time for a change. A burning issue that needs to be addressed; with the coming of community as one.