A Muslim Woman's Day Reflection: We Do Not Require your Savior

March 24, 2017



Dear Western World,


The notion of being smugly superior lies in an ability to claim the, "Saving of our Grace." It must be understood that within Islam lies an ability for women to lead self-determined, and, fulfilling lives.  Though many Muslims and the countries that we reside in have not delivered, we prefer not to feign away from the problem, and, are well able to address the problem ourselves.  Muslim women are well-bodied and able to reclaim their history.  We do not require assistance in looking to our foundations and request that progression and ownership in the addressing of your own problems be made.

Suppression that is cultural or historical has little basis in the Quran and is inconsistent with the teachings of our Prophet Muhammad who was a feminist.  He was radical in his times for his principled reasoning as to the equality of women and men and active steps were taken to improve the status and role of women in Arabia during his own lifetime.  In his (PBUH) Last Sermon delivered we are told, “You have certain rights over women but they have certain rights over you.” Women, he said, are your “partners and helpers.” In one of his sayings, Muhammad says, “The best men are those who are best to their wives. " His very example in the relationships that he held within marriage were also to strong women who took on leadership roles during their lifetimes.

Moreover, women in seventh century Arabia had rights not extended to most women in the West until more recent centuries.   This was referenced by a Professor Jamila Hussain of the University of Technology, Sydney, whom upon tracing women's rights within history, decided to convert to Islam.  Additionally, the cultural norm of burying baby girls alive  due to it being seen as a financial burden on the family was strongly outlawed.   Rights of divorce and inheritance were given and clearly stipulated in the Quran. For those reasons, if a women failed to marry the choice of starvation and prostitution no longer became and option.

Muslim feminism has given the opportunity for several female heads of state, prime ministers, and state secretaries such as Lala Shovkat of Azerbaijan, Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan, Mame Madior Boye of Senegal, Tansu Çiller of Turkey, Kaqusha Jashari of Kosovo, and Megawati Sukarnoputri of Indonesia. In Bangladesh, Khaleda Zia was elected the country's first female prime minister in 1991, and served as prime minister until 2009, when she was replaced by Sheikh Hasina.

Western discourse has consistently argued that the hijab is not a symbol of freedom, but one of oppression.  However, research suggests that contrary to western notions, when Muslim women choose to wear the hijab as a way of showing self-control, power and agency. Often it is worn as a way of promoting their own feminist ideals by challenging men in taking control of the way in which they are viewed as, "sexualized objects." Sometimes it is simply worn as an act of worship for one's own spiritual quest.  It becomes oppression when the choice to wear is not their own.  It can also be said that there is nothing liberating in wearing next to nothing.  Nor is there compulsion within the religion of Islam.

The United Nations High Commission on Refugees (UNHCR) estimates that over three-quarters of the 4 million refugees from Syria are actually women and children. But protecting the most vulnerable is not on the list of priorities for  conservatives within the U.S.A.

By telling us that Muslim women need saving is an indictment of a mindset that has justified all manner of foreign interference, including military invasion, in the name of rescuing women from Islam.  A moral crusade to rescue oppressed Muslim women has justified all manner of intervention from the legal to the military and reduced Muslim women to a stereotyped cultural icon that has been alienated.

Nor, can the defending of the rights of Muslim women abroad as being offered as a rationale for military intervention be reconciled with the increase of hate crimes committed within the U.S.A.  As it currently stands, Muslim women are being assaulted both verbally and physically as well as being held back from positions of power and in progression within this society.  We are told foreign names, in particular, Muslim names are less employable.  Political views that are also held will be used and targeted against us on the very same foreign soil that is somehow projected in the Media as the very same being that is protecting us.  Ironically,  women in some Muslims countries make up a bigger percentage of engineering and medical faculties than women do in the U.S.A. For her part, Malala who was oppressed by the talibanization of Pakistan is now speaking against U.S. policy.

A statistic compiled by the World Health  organization (WHO) reveals 1 in 3 (33%) women are survivors of sexual violence or intimate partner violence.  This figure is actually low when encompassing all forms of sexual violence, including physical sexual harassment and, what many would consider, innocuous assault.  Those things do fall on the sexual assault spectrum, and they are traumatizing to varying degrees depending on the situation and individual. Bottom line, they are unwanted, nonconsensual sexual contact and it is not just Muslim women that need rescuing.  Women of colored minorities are reportedly missing within the U.S.A and incidences are on the rise.  When will the injustice against all women be a focal point and when will all women work for the sake of each other?  A Woman's March was held globally and conservative males in the U.S.A. are determining the rights to be held by women in the workplace environment.  Oppression is oppression and we need to see the end of all injustice and harm. Muhammad Ali Jinnah once said this quote and it still stands today:

“No nation can rise to the height of glory unless your women are side by side with you. We are victims of evil customs. It is a crime against humanity that our women are shut up within the four walls of the houses as prisoners. There is no sanction anywhere for the deplorable condition in which our women have to live.”

Sincerely,

#MuslimWomenAgainstOppression

The status of Divorcees in Islam: Being Divorced does not mount to being Defective or Unworthy Goods

The rate of divorce in Western countries is almost at the rate of fifty percent and this rate most certainly includes and affects Muslims living in the West also. Divorce is allowed in Islam and even acknowledged as a right. So why all the stigma and shaming of men and women who either choose or have no choice in going about taking such a route? More often than not, people who are mainly community elders, "assume," the role of lecturing or try on their part to, "knock in some sense," where they think a person is unable to make a proper judgment call. She was right. He was wrong. We can fix it like this. Maybe like that. Ironically, those persons do not realize that they have a different tolerance threshold than what another may. Reliance upon the belief of each soul having a burden than only it can bear; no more and no less is often ignored. People also start comparing and contrasting their married situation to yours which really makes no difference or sense as each couple has its own dynamic and circumstances which can never truly be the same.

"Divorce is sometimes considered as a mercy in Islam,"  was one of the most insightful quotes into the matter made by Ustadh Ubaydullah Evans. This is because sometimes in marriage we end up doing more harm than good. In such instances, it may be better to part. Unfortunately, many in the community do not agree to this or even understand. It is permitted in the religion to protect men and women from a marriage where either party are denied their rights. It safeguards dignity and needs. Nobody should be forced to carry a cultural burden of shame because of what they deem is a, "failure," or a person no longer being, "pure," in their eyes.

Whilst it may be true that such persons are back on the, "meat market," it does not mean that they should be subject to prey or being preyed upon. It is time that acceptance instead of marginalizing of divorcees took place and that the community at large embrace such persons. Having a, "being married," status never should affect one's standing. Nor should the children of divorcees be cast aside for being different to them; when what they require is love and acceptance.

The reality is that divorced people do care about their relationships. They evolve in their relationships and choose not to be miserably married. They move into a co - parenting scenario and may even become more productive in parenting as a result. Divorcees are not nonchalant. It is not a sign of weakness but takes a lot of strength. Finding support helps those in times of loss. That is what they truly need.

The Sliding Scale of Muslim Women and the Hierarchies within the Female Pecking Order

Wherever we choose to look, it can be said that we either are born into a hierarchy or create one for ourselves. Within every association made, there is a pecking order. It can be either by default, or, because we are taught to think that way. This is regardless of whether we think about it or not. Some may know their place, and many try to maintain status quo or attempt to alter it.

Amongst women, it’s a fierce and complicated order as it is, and, when placed within the Muslim model living in the West a greater dynamic comes into play. Not only is it who’s more attractive; but also, whose children are better and whose husbands are more accomplished. Propelled into the mix is the greater competition of - who stays at home, who is the atypical soccer mom and who has a career, coupled with, a level of religious judgment an racial element which is put amongst the very forefront of where one will sit on the, 'sliding scale.' Is she fair complexioned? Did she or will she get better married off than me? Arab or non Arab? Pakistani, Indian or Fijian? Muslim convert? How many activities is the child enrolled in? Which Sunday school do they attend? Which masjid community do they mix in?

Later, the comparison begins within extended family and sometimes preference is given to certain family members based on these qualities. For instance, the daughter in law that is a doctor is higher valued than the accountant daughter in law. The convert that a guy is considering for marriage is less likely to have to mingle with extended family than the daughter in law who speaks the same language. Expectations change, hierarchies, again, assigned.

An establishment of such order makes it very difficult for women to be at ease with themselves and with other women in general. It’s worth noting, too, that some women have given up because circumstances are beyond their control.

The bottom line is that it’s much more bewildering than, “So, what do you do?” How do we reconcile someone like Malala in the scheme of things? Would someone like her who had to unlearn everything to make a stand even be tolerated?

The other pressure comes from men viewing women and sizing them up and being non appreciative of what the market has to offer or the current choice of spouse.

Take a moment to think deeply. Such programming may have started from childhood. Where do people stand? What qualities made them more impressionable and influential? Look within in your family and community. Who dictated the terms?

Realistically speaking, hierarchies can only be present within in our own minds. Is the hierarchy based on being more spiritual, or financial success, or beauty, or talents? Why is such a criteria so necessary? Who is above and below whom? What is the payoff? How do you feel about where you stand? Do you want to keep that? At what cost?

Being bound by such a hierarchy will keep one in a competitive mode with others. The price of competition can be rather high. Learning to let go and being content is what is required by our faith. In the end, none of it will really matter. Hierarchy is unnecessary and damaging to the body, mind and spirit. You can choose to be either in control or not. Choice is yours.

Cabra-Matters: An Ex Pat's Memoirs on being Australian at Heart

Cabramatta is a suburb in south west of Sydney, located in New South Wales, Australia. It was once a town known predominantly for its agriculture and the name came into existence after a township grew from the village with a railway system being built in the 1850s. The presence of a migrant hostel alongside Cabramatta High School was decisive in shaping the community in the post-war period. It housed a large number of post-war immigrants who began to develop local businesses within the region. For such reasons, Cabramatta and the surrounding Fairfield area was characterized by a diversity of Australian-born children having migrant parents. A second tide of immigration ensued and this time migrants were from south-east Asia as a result of the Vietnam War. During the 1980s, Cabramatta was transformed into a thriving Asian community, displacing many of the previous migrant generation. Today, should one ever pay a visit, it could easily be confused with the streets of Saigon or any other "Chinatown" and is Australia's largest non-Anglo-Celtic commercial precinct.

The suburb also served as a home to one of the country's most reformative leaders: Gough Whitlam. Fairfield Council will honour the late Gough Whitlam by naming the public square at its new Dutton Lane development in Cabramatta "Gough Whitlam Place". His memorial service will also be broadcast in Freedom Plaza. The former prime minister was member for the southwest seat of Werriwa for 25 years. He was very approachable and had Australia at heart. In fact, it was his direct experience of life in the sprawling western suburbs that inspired him to address the problems of urban Australia. Once in government, he never lost his passion or empathy for working Australians. He helped transform Australia into a land of progress, opportunity, equality and fairness.

It was at about that time that as with many early migrants in the 1970s, my father  applied for migration to Australia and was accepted there. He left Pakistan was to avoid the political instability of the region; hereby securing a better future to come and because he did not have the heart to charge money from the poorest of poor persons upon seeking treatment. Upon arriving at the shores of Australia, he received employment with Fairfield Hospital located in Sydney's Western suburbs. During the year of 1974, he went back to Pakistan to visit his family and it was decided that he should seek a new bride to wed. It was during that year that both my mother and father married. My mother sought migration not long thereafter.

Both were later united in the same year and worked together in Fairfield Hospital for some time.  Later, my father grew his practice in Cabramatta. Western Sydney is  now known for generating the third largest economy in Australia behind the Sydney Central Business District and Melbourne and its highly dense multicultural population.

Consequently, we grew up with core, unique, Australian multicultural values consisting of three essential elements:

1. Those who arrive in Australia are invited to continue to celebrate their cultures and traditions, not only within a broader culture of freedom but, more importantly, with due regard;

2. Shared respect for democratic beliefs, laws and rights; and

3. Belief in its political bipartisanship.

In the interim, the suburb did begin to have an  image problem, primarily due to its reputation as a point for drug-dealing. With the refugee influx came a heroin problem, which, has now been contained. My father was also very influential in getting the attention of media and government on the issue and did speak before the Parliamentary Inquiry.

Cabramatta is also remembered for the political murder of a NSW State MP, John Newman,outside his Cabramatta home in September 1994. This was Australia's first ever political assassination and thus this assassination drew much attention and alarm.

All around, Cabramatta is what modern day Australia encompasses. It sets the stage for shaping Australia politically, and, from a policy perspective. It grew, suffered some loss, and, now, has become a place to where people want to flock in order to sustain some of the best deals on material; electronics; homeware; shoes; food and clothing. Therefore, the multicultural environment brought much innovation, ideas, skills, energy with achievement.  Lives were enriched for those reasons. Australians enjoy a higher standard of living than they would have, otherwise, due to a broad array of skills and knowledge. Part of this meant working within these values to sustain a culture within a new homeland. A recognition and celebration of different cultural heritages was made with a common, shared future.

Spicing up my life with Bollywood

Living in the often miserable and complex weather patterns of Chicago, I hereby testify, and, declare that, to the best of my knowledge, Bollywood, most certainly, continues to peddle my surge in fantasy and can prove to be escapism at its finest.

Instead of choosing to want to trick or treat and play dress up during the time of Halloween; I would much rather curl up under a blanket with some chai, my PJs and to want to watch Bollywood dance numbers, or, a full diversionary fare in that delivers romance, comedy, action, melodrama, songs and dance.

These movies do possess masala like qualities: spicy blends of genre which evoke an entertaining dish leaving you wanting more. This is, in fact, what makes Bollywood so compelling. Disney classics whilst do follow a similar formula, somehow, manage to fall short for me. Bollywood is more sentimental, melodramatic, and unironically exaggerated.

As of recent, Disney and Bollywood have fused in the latest film, "Khoobsoorut. " It is a wonder as to how many more of these will come our way.

Nonetheless, the presence of Bollywood in one's life can never be underestimated. It is able to fill in any void of the following: a life bereft of travel, color, costume, clothing, culture, luxury, love and feeling the part. It further serves as unique and powerful disseminator of Indian culture and values abroad. As such, instant gratification of some sort is received without much of a toll on one's pocket. I am sure Bollywood is a contributor in why so many arranged marriages are still working and alive today.

Interestingly enough is the surge in my desires to want to boost the masalas in my meals at this time of year as well; which also becomes more flavorful.  More complex in the making, but I want haleem, chicken karahi, nihari and, or, biryani. Delish. I say bring on the spice!

In a spin about the 'Charkha'

The word charkha which has links with Persian چرخ: charKh, wheel, which is related to the word "circle." In short, it is  hand-cranked spinning wheel used for cotton and other fiber making purposes. Within subcontinental history, Gandhi had hoped that through its implementation the independence movement would able to be established. Self - sufficiency and independence via this means is even depicted on earlier flag versions of India.

From a historical perspective, Indians were working hard to produce cotton which often was shipped to England and made into cloth. It added to insult when the British would send the cloth back to India to be sold at a price that most were unable to afford. For those reasons, Gandhi sought to evade exploitation by developing a spinning wheel that every Indian could afford within a home environment. The shackles of oppression were broken as it helped in the fight for independence. It is still used in India today. It, thereby, became a free movement that reduced competition.

For those reasons the charkha is a symbol of culture; a culture that disappeared after industrialization. Almost an obsession for many; it is a nostalgia that is carried through glorification in books, songs and pop culture that is very alive today within Pakistan. Whilst that may be the case, if one searches deeper the relevance can be applicable to everybody in their daily grind.

In Sufi poetry, it is definitely appreciation of hard work. Its significance lies in the struggle for earning good deeds in this world for the hereafter. When demonstrated often in music made by artists such as Abeda Parveen and Junoon; it often brings a level of romanticism. Whilst it mainly depicts an elderly woman who is spinning a 'charka'; she is taken to another level and is rewarded by nothing too great in this life. She strives alone, continues uneffaced but still very present and required by society. In the scheme of things, her role often gets overlooked and is yet is the very reason for the tight fabric of society being glued and held together. The monotony, simplicity, and, existential being is what connects one and can draw one to celebrate it's being.  A purpose is found in this task and she humbly submits to the role that has been apportioned to her. Within the same,there is a high level of self- reliance as nobody is by her side. She keeps looking forward without complaint and utters nothing but praise for her Lord, coupled with, a high level of optimism it seems.

For those reasons, it is truly a special wheel as it encompasses history that helped force a change in India and Pakistan. It also seeks to remind that life is a perpetual journey of birth, resurrection, and death. So, shall we spin?

#MuslimApologies: Should we say Sorry or not?

The rhetoric of not being apologetic enough for acts committed in the name of Islam is a constant theme we are hearing by media and heads of government.

One the one hand, it has to be acknowledged that Muslims should not have to apologize for the actions of a few.

 At the same time,  it is our duty to engage in spreading the message or, "dawa." If there is any ignorance in the teachings of Islam, it is because we have failed in the sending of the message or people's understanding of the same.

 A more rampant dawa technique would have ensured that this would not have had to happen in the first place. For those reasons, it has to be considered as to where do we draw the line in apologizing and in rejecting a position or stance?

The #NotInMyName campaign which has been quick to denounce radical extremism like the Islamic State and their actions; whilst others question as to why all Muslims should feel compelled to apologize every time a crime is committed by extremists in the name of Islam.

Their position being, "When other religions' leaders and members don't apologize for actions committed in the name of their faith, frustrated Muslims ask, why should ours?"

Apologies and being apologetic is also part of our faith. Sometimes it is the key to holding a healthy life. It is often considered a valuable, ethical trait. We should care enough about our religion being slandered and the representation of Islam which has been either twisted, misconstrued, and, or, not being properly represented at all; due to lack of information or ignorance and a failing on our part.

Having understood that, and washing our hands off the matter by saying that not all people that state that they are 'real' Muslims or practicing Muslims may depict Islam in its true state is not grossly irresponsible or immature either.

Muslims should grow and rise above and beyond expectations. We bear the onus of spreading the message correctly. It is also what our religion requires.